Post 7: Learning Burnout

My current emotional state is an alright one, but I'm extremely aware of being in a state of educational burnout. Like many others, I'm drawing to the end of my degree, and somehow the closer I get the less I can be made to care about school. I think this is a natural process, and it is one in which awareness seems to have little effect on my motivation. I remember having this same feeling in the last few months of my undergrad as well, characterized by thinking "I've just got to get through this." I remember the passion I felt at the beginning of my degree, of feeling excited about theory, about wanting nothing more than to hear the insight of my colleagues, and now all I want is for my courses to require little work.

At first I thought that I was simply not caring, but I found that I was actually caring a lot, I had just shifted my focus from school elsewhere. Instead of focusing on my schooling, my energy, my thoughts and my motivation have moved to the workplace, even before I am even certified to enter it. I think my motivation also shifted differently than in my undergrad because I felt like marks mattered more then. I needed my marks to get into grad school, while now not only are my marks less important moving forward, but often it feels that regardless of what effort I put into work I'll come out with an A or maybe an A-. 

To summarize, though my school is still important, it seems to be important as a stepping stone to the next thing, and with that next step drawing tantalizingly near, it becomes harder to focus. In addition the feeling that regardless of what I do I'll get the marks I need also decrease my motivation