The true understanding is trying to understand and knowing
that you will never fully understand.
In the Multicultural Counselling class, Dr. Pare said that
some of our colleagues tended to say “I completely understand you” in order to
express empathy to the client. Dr. Pare said that we never “completely
understand” anyone else, because we are unique individuals. Saying “completely
understand” may not be seen as a way of showing empathy; in contrast, the other
person may think that we are devaluing their experience.
The true understanding is not a condition, but a stance. A
stance that shows I am willing to know and TRYING to understand the client. We
never completely understand anyone else, thus no one can understand us completely, either. That is
why the stance and endeavour to try to understand the other person so valuable.
We never completely understand, so be humble to communicate!
I often remind myself of this lesson I learned.
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